Seeds

Is anyone else watching Married to Medicine? I missed last season ;however, I plan to watch the foolwangery this year. *covers head in shame*  I cannot look away from train wrecks. *shrugs shoulders*

However the show got me thinking.

When the show premiered last year, there was a lot negative press associated with it. A couple of students and alumni in my medical school started a petition to have the show boycotted citing that the show perpetuated negative stereotypes. Of course, Bravo TV  was not going to stop their money train because of a few disgruntled people in the medical community. I really did not understand what the whole hullabaloo was at that point. Now I realize the show was/is more dangerous than I realized.
Every thing we watch, hear and read sows a seed in our heart and mind. These seeds take root ( make a foundation), germinate and grow.  When the seed grows into a plant it produces more seeds.  The bible puts it aptly with “ out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks. (Luke 6 vs 45)”

My classmates were rightfully angry that another negative seed was being sown into the hearts of millions of people. This could have been set up for positive portrayal of a story that is seldom  told. The story of  black female physicians with black male physicians and their wives. I went to a medical school that is not representative of how few minorities there are in medicine. Do not underestimate how dangerous these portrayals are. To me each is a single alphabet of a word in a sentence that says  black people are a certain way.
If you are told something or shown something or read something often enough, without having valuable insight, you will begin to believe it.

That is why I started taking more concerted steps to watch what I allow into me. I wont lie to you and say I listen to Christian radio and tv 24/7. To be frank, there is an inauthentic portrayal of Christianity that I feel Christian radio purports that I dislike. However, I noticed that despite the positives in my life I was prone to swings in my emotion and moods. Instead of “riding it out” or dismissing it as my normal disposition I began to wonder why. It dawned on me , definitely from revelation from the holy spirit, that I was allowing negative seeds to be sown in my life.

I watch entirely too much ratchet reality tv to be considered healthy .

 If all I watched was strife, hate, rudeness, meanness and people being downright evil to each other then it isn't surprising that I was moody, snappy, critical and mean. I wasn't suddenly going to be speaking blessings to my fellow brother when I wasn't reading, watching and hearing blessings.

I cannot lie and say I have stopped all ratchet reality tv (everyone has to have a little vice J).  These people are utterly ridiculous and  put them selves out there. It’s like a crash on the highway, you cant help but slow down . However, I have drastically cut back. I have gone on television fasts where I abstain from television for a few days.  I replaced the inane pop songs I listened to on radio and replaced with christian messages. I can definitely say there has been an improvement in my emotional health. I am not mother Theresa now but I am not giving everyone within a one mile radius of me a mean side eye.

Well most of the time I am not. J

Whats "falling in love" got to do with it?

On falling in love: “You don’t know who you will fall in love with. You just don’t. You don’t control it. Some people have certain things, like, ‘That’s what I’m going for,’ and I have a subjective version of that. I don’t pressure myself…If you fall in love with someone, you want to own them – but really, why would you want that? You want them to be what you love. I’m much too young to even have an answer for that question.”

Kristen Stewart, Marie Claire, March  2014

 

Kristen Stewart is on the cover of the next issue of Marie Claire and that was her answer when she was asked about falling in love. To begin with the question itself is faulty and is based on an false  concept of "falling in love."

I once was naïve, foolish and misguided. I once believed in the statement above and in some ways still believe in it. Every day I find myself constantly trying to correct or even replace the  erroneous concepts that have been ingrained in my brain . One of those many concepts is the thought that love is a feeling that cannot be controlled, that you cant help who you fall in love with,  or that you fall in love. Granted, Kristen Stewart is a twenty something year old growing up in a spotlight  she obviously finds uncomfortable. She is not the most articulate person consequently is not the best person to answer a question about love.  I am not picking on Kristen Stewart but I am using the article to illustrate that we are constantly being inundated with the same concepts or what I call seeds by the media. These seeds are not  as harmless  and every one of these seeds grow. Do not underestimate the power of these "seeds" in the media to shape a mind especially a mind of a young person who has no Godly example around to aspire to.

Young people especially young women are fighting a losing battle. If every book, movie TV show and song  tells you that love is about  falling and it is a  flowery emotion that you have no control over because you cant help it,  of course you begin to believe it.

I did! My rationale was that these people are obviously more experienced in life so it must be true.

Now  I wince, shake my head, shudder with embarrassment and laugh. Thank God for Jesus. I believe that becoming a Christian allowed me to base my thought process  and world view from a more realistic foundation. It has changed my thinking process from being extremely faulty to being barely faulty. Imagine a young girl going into a relationship with this thinking process, it’s a train wreck waiting to happen.  The media and we as a society have placed unrealistic fantastical expectations on love. In fact it wasn’t until recently I realized that the concept of falling in love is total rubbish.  Working in the medical sciences , I know “falling” has negative connotations. In my head, I see broken bones, splinters,  hip replacement and crushed skulls when I think of falling. Okay fine  I may have gone overboard with that description but why would you want to fall into something especially love. 

Falling hurts. Falling is not safe.

Who came up with this concept anyway and why have we (especially me) allowed it to penetrate my outlook?

 

I read on someone's blog that they would rather grow in love with someone. Yes it sounds less romantic but is more realistic. Growing in love makes me think about growing old with someone and persevering with them.  

 

I will not begin to act like I can adequately characterize the true meaning of any type of love even in the context of the bible. I am still finding that out, still growing and still making mistakes. However I do know love is a choice, it’s a calculated decision that may be clouded by strong attraction and chemistry.

To end in a positive note, 1 Corinthians 13 vs 4-7

⁴ Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; ⁵ does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; ⁶ does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; ⁷ bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

 

Nothing with the above mentions that love is easy nor does it mention falling,   in fact its implies some sort of resilience and adaptation is required for love.

 

It makes me think that love aint for kids, its not for the faint of heart and its definitely not about falling.