Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Jesus is not a Republican

The presidential debate last night was a fiasco. Hilary was probably thinking how did I get into a debate with this orange cheeto burrito turned reality tv star.

Side note: Its actually ironic the republican party was the party that supported abolition of slavery. How times have changed. * Shakes virtual head*

 Donald Trump or " The Donald" as some call him is entertaining. He has always been brash, blunt, sexist, racist, bully. I would break into peals of laughter when he dealt with one of the contestants on The Apprentice. I also broke into peals of laughter when he first ran for president.  I was laughing at the beginning of the republican presidential debate. As you may have guessed, I have stopped laughing. Now I am petrified. Petrified that the "blacks" will be rounded up and sent to concentration camps to keep "law and order" a la the  Japanese after the Pearl Harbor Attacks.

I genuinely do not understand people that insist on a 3rd party candidate, or insist that they will write in their candidate. People that despise Hilary so much that they don't care if America is handed over to an over bleached Cheeto. I believe this harshness stems from the fact that she is a woman. She hasn't not done anything worse than another fellow male politician. Lied, check done by male counterparts. Cheated, check done by male counterparts. I am not excusing her, but please I don't understand why people put politicians on a moral pedestal they are not worthy off.

To be honest, I understand  how Trumps appeal to his base. He does not sound like a politician and prides himself on not sounding like a politician.  He played that "insider" vs "outsider" card during the debate and I believe it worked for him and his base. Notwithstanding, you cannot allow this man to run one of the most powerful nations on earth. My biggest concern with Trump is not the qualities I expounded upon earlier. My biggest problem is his limited attention span. This man will get bored with running a country. Best case scenario, he leaves the big decisions to "reasonable" trusted advisers and goes of to do whatever entertains him.

 I implore every one who can vote to vote and understand that if you vote for anyone other than Trump or Hilary, you have voted for Trump. If you dont vote then you also may have voted for Trump. PLEASE DONT STAY HOME. ARMAGEDDON IS ON OUR DOOR STEPS.

Now that the PSA is out of the way...I am a big believer in the separation of church and state. I disagree with religious leaders trying to influence the votes of their congregation. or urge them to vote for a certain candidate as  God's candidate.

There is no Godly candidate.

Most politicians in my opinion are morally bankrupt, politics itself is characterized by manipulations and machinations. It is rarely a Godly field. When christian religious leaders recommend a candidate,its usually the Republican party who have cemented themselves as the christian evangelical anti abortion party. Donald Trump is the only candidate where I have seen  a breaking away from the norm of just voting Republican blindly. Some evangelicals cant even stomach Trump. You cannot vote republican and close your eyes to the negative ideals that you are voting for. Would Christ vote for a party that perpetuates elitist systematic racism and favors the rich above the poor. In the same token would he vote for a party that believes that abortion is okay, or does not defend the sanity of marriage.  We have very two flawed political parties. One is not a Godly party vs the other. Both candidates  will say what is necessary to appeal to their base and secure votes.  The pulpit has immeasurable influence and power over the congregations minds and so religious leaders should be cognizant of that. I sometimes feel the Republican Christian leaning ideals are highlighted while the unpopular ideals are down played. As an immigrant, I find it difficult to vote for a party that supports every policy that supports kicking me out of the county.

Notwithstanding, can we have a candidate that is truly anointed  by God, and is Godly. Sure....Yes...
 Maybe....However I want to make the choice of voting by myself with my own God given brain. National politics and church, in my mind is like good and evil.  It makes me uncomfortable when its brought into church which many consider a sanctuary.

Church is not the place for politicking.

Granted, the civil rights movements did stem from the church and it can be a powerful tool if used correctly, ;however, I have not seen it being used correctly in recent times.

Until next time folks
Live Fearless !

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

What I am reading - Gone Girl Phenomenon

I actually have some time in third year to read something besides medical literature, text books. Despite the fact that I am on night float right now, cranky and tired.
* God I Just want to go home and sleep in my bed!!! *
I am committing to blogging at least once a week. Hopefully from a bonafide commitment- phobe this will last. * shrugs shoulders*

Anyway I recently read "Girl on the Train." I saw the trailer and was very intrigued. Although I do roll my eyes on the  new "gone girl genre." It just seems like there are a series of psychological thrillers  with "girl" in the title being released in the past two to three years with close similarities to Gone Girl.

For instance,

Girl on the Train
The Good Girl
Luckiest Girl Alive.

You get my drift.

The hook of the these novels always includes something like this "Hailed as the next Gone Girl, with a breathtaking, mild blowing, gripping, "insert another overly dramatic description here."

Please yall publishers need to stop this;. Stop it. Stop it.

It just sets these other novels for failure because the reader is going into the novel with expectations that sometimes cannot be met. You aint Gillian Flyyn.

Its actually interesting how we all try to duplicate success or be associated with it.

As my fellow Nigerians would say "Please God make me a point of reference. Make me a Gone Girl."

I read two novels in the new "girl" genre. Girl On The Train (GOTT) and The Good girl.

Let me start with the good. I read GOTT a few weeks ago, so its not as fresh in my brain. GOTT is told from the POV of three narrators, Rachel, Anna and Megan around the same time period.  Rachel in my opinion is the more central point of view because the novel starts from her perspective. However it was intriguing to me because she is a troubled woman that is an alcoholic so her narrative perspective cannot be trusted. She lost her job and to hide the fact from her room mate she takes the train everyday at a certain time and then rides it back "after work." Its profoundly sad and cra cra at the same time. The train passes  Megan's  home everyday where Rachel spies on snippets of her seemingly perfect life. Then a murder happens, and Rachel becomes entangled in the investigation.  I really was intrigued by the premise of the novel and that is  why I  over rode (if that's a word) my "cheap skate" gene and bought it.  The whole premise of spying into a seemingly perfect life where nothing is as it seems is very relable to me. I constantly remind myself that Instagram life is not real life, its a seemingly perfect overly rehearsed snap shot that I have to stop comparing my life too. But that's a post for another day. GOTT got me guessing till the very end and I would like to think I am very good at figuring out the "whodunit". I figured it out right before the reveal.  I really enjoyed the extra layer of unreliable narrators because as the reader I could never trust that what I was being told was an accurate narrative. I know other people find this problematic but for me its quite enjoyable. GOOT was a solid novel, not quite Gone Girl but close.  The only con of the novel for me would be the ending felt rushed and although it was a psychological thriller the ending wasnt particularly uplifting. It was borderline depressing.

Now moving on to The Good Girl  

Mia is the black sheep daughter of wealthy Judge Dennett. She meets a guy Colin at a bar and goes home with him, thinking he will be a one night stand as there is a palpable attraction between them. It turns out he was sent to kidnap her by some unsavory characters who plan to demand a ransom from her father.  Colin decides to have a guilty conscience midway in the kidnapping (terrible timing) and takes her to a deserted cabin instead of the designated drop off. The story is told from the pov of Eve (Mias mom), Colin and  Gabe (detective assigned to the case.) The pov alternates between before and after the kidnapping for each character. This could be problematic for some readers but I didn't have a problem with this. However , I kept reading the novel hoping for the "twisty roller coaster" twist that had been promised by the novel description and the the reviewers. By the time I got to 3/4 of the book I didn't care and when the "twist" came I was only mildly surprised.  I also did not particularly relate to any of the characters ; as a result, I was not invested in them. The Good Girl was not as good as  GOOT and Gone Girl outflanks the novel in all areas of comparison. Maybe it was a little bit to slow to warm up for me....actually the novel never warmed up it trudged tepidly to the climax at the end.

Live Fearless Folks, until next time.
On to night float :( *Screams in agony*

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

'Intelligent" Modern Christian Woman

The "intelligent" christian woman is an oxymoron of sorts in itself.  The fact is, most times christian women are not portrayed as being intelligent in the media. We are not portrayed as being complex characters with wants and needs that are mildly ambiguous or multi dimensional.
Or are these not adjectives that should be used to describe  a christian woman?  

Perhaps I should choose only descriptions from Proverbs 31.

However when I analyze the description, I do think the Proverbs 31 woman IS intelligent, driven and ambitious, or maybe that’s what I would like to thinkBut why are we not portrayed like that? And why do we not find representations of ourselves like that even in christian media?

Maybe I am not looking hard enough.  

Personally,  I have struggled with my somewhat unorthodox approach and pattern of thinking that tends to see the negatives. What everyone else sees  as excellent or moving is borderline mediocre and boring to me. Granted I am not that person who is “full of spice and everything nice.” I’m more like a coconut,  with the sweetness exposed after cracking the hard shell. I also think its an underlying arrogance within me that I am more aware of and I am working on to change. This is a sin the God particularly detest. James 4 vs 6

However I haven't been challenged to grow with what Christian  media has offered to women. Nor am I overly inspired by it. Maybe I have not done my homework and not searched for thought provoking christian female centered media.

Yes I am spiritual but I don’t want to be spiritual all the time. I want to read a magazine that deals with spiritual warfare  but also has an article about the woman making it her life's mission to provide clean water in Africa. Or where I could get the best Mac makeup deals. Or style choices for date night. Or the story of the unsung single woman (another blog for another day.) .

I think stories like this do not exist or if they do I can't  find them or I am not looking hard enough.  
Or if they do exist I can’t  find them all in the same place.
I have not fully worked  it out in my head. My questions are ...
Who is the intelligent Christian woman.
What does she read?
What does she want to see more in the media ?
How does she feel?
How do I strike the right balance between spirituality and frivolity?
Is it wrong she wants to spiritually grow in God and that she also knows Princess Riri has a new album out?

Intelligent christian woman is almost a misnomer.
Does it even exist in pop culture?
Are we ever portrayed as multi faceted women with many interests viewpoints and opinions? Are we ever portrayed as powerful.

Or are we portrayed as mousy women with no opinions, whose favorite pastime is to have our head buried in a bible.

Are we portrayed as women who hurt? Who bleed? Who are hurt by our christian and non christian brothers alike. Who have assistant boyfriends and associate boyfriends when we are not supposed to. Who fall? Who sin ? Who get back up again?  Who are feminist? Or is christian feminist a misnomer? Who are passionate about something? About anything? Who have dreams aspirations goals outside of getting married. I believe christian woman are a sum of different parts.

I have struggled with the definition of the intelligent modern christian woman. Maybe because I  have been guilty of having a one dimensional view  and unrealistic view  of the ideal  Christian woman myself. An extremely holy, perfect, fire brand type of woman whose wants, needs, desires and life revolves around God, the church and family.

I do know that I have seen a singular story told for the christian woman not necessarily by the christian woman.

I haven't been particularly consistent with blogging at eniolaprentice writes. I have found every excuse under the sun, valid and invalid to excuse my lack of blogging. I have to decided to go in a new direction and at the same time be committed to blogging.

To share the stories of these powerful strong women of God  I know exist on my new blog Christian Power Girl.  To write the multifaceted stories we should talk about. To write even fluff lifestyle  pieces that any christian woman  can relate with and laugh about before she heads for work.

 To celebrate women making the proverbial appearance before the king even in the smallest steps and trusting God that they will not be killed.

Believing that God will catch them when they fall.

I chose the name Christian Power Girl, because I would like to think of the modern christian woman as me,  a reformed rebel  and flawed lover of God that sometimes does not realize her own power.

I would like to think someone other woman can relate to that.

I have decided to live fearless...
Write what you want to see and stop thinking about it.

Monday, November 30, 2015

The demise of empire

Please does anyone still watch empire. Unfortunately I used to.
Was it a slightly melodramatic soap operish show that did not take its safe too seriously ? Yes
Was it in line with reality? Nope, but no one wants to watch a show about real life anyway

But it wasn't a low tier Telemundo telenovela.  

As in!!!

I have been giving the show chance after chance. saying to myself that it would get better but it HAS not.

The whole premise of the show was the family jostling to be the Head Lyon in charge. With kitty boo child (his new wife, i forget her name) thrown in the mix with cookie and the three sons, it was a compelling show to watch albeit I didn't take it seriously. I was drawn to the drama.

For the second season, everyone has individual story lines that don't weave so seamlessly together.
If season 1 of empire was like season 2, I tell ya it wont be the hit it is today.

The writing  medium hasn't changed. Empire writers, you don't have to reinvent the wheel.
Good writing compels very busy people who could be using their time more productively to watch your show.

Na I cant no more. I can find the cure for cancer with that time.
turns TV and walks out…….

That is until I watch the promos for next season and I am drawn back again.

If I trusted God like I trust these tv shows which I keep giving chances to.
Abraham the father of faith would have nothing on me.

Friday, November 20, 2015

I will be happy when

image courtesy of wiki

I will be happy when….Insert whatever you like here. Get married, get a car and stop using the metro, start that new job, move closer to my friends, switch churches.

For the past couple of years my life could be characterized by the above statement with different insert here milestone. Lately, I have realized that life and my ever evolving emotional needs are a little bit more complicated than that.

I go from a miserable person taking the metro to the miserable person commuting to work.
Fundamentally, happiness cannot be found in “happenings” or “stuff” and even if you do find happiness, it is never the lasting type. It only lasts long enough until the next “I will be happy when moment’

Oneday i stopped myself and asked,

oh girl what about happiness now. Ii only have one life to live. Why am I living partially hoping something or someone will fulfill me.

Let me start with the most erroneous and dangerous pattern of thinking that a relationship or marriage will fulfill you or make you happy. If you had a sinking feeling and recognized your pattern of thinking in my above statements, do not be alarmed. I am the reformed poster child of the " clingers creed.
See, women, girls, whatever you want to call the female sex, who think this way are usually stage 5 clingers. However, I digress. Let me focus on the topic at hand.

Specifically thinking like that, implies that not only are you deficient in some way, which is a direct contradiction to Gods word but is borderline foolish to base happiness on another flawed human being who is prone to mistakes.

What happens on the days that he cannot be that knight in shining armor. if he ever was..
Or he is ill
Or he is just being plain old mean to you.

Life is too long and temporary ( notice i refuse to use the saying "life is too short" because I am your bonafide spiricoco superstitious naija babe to the core. As a man saith so will he is ,I don't speak jabberjantis into my life, including my "life is potentially short". I digressed yet again) to base happiness on the actions of someone that you cannot control.

The past couple of months I felt i have had to purge myself from erroneous thinking.

"You complete me."Jerry- Maguire -melt- your -heart- break- into- tears pop culture’s go to saying of love is wholly based on the the school of thought of "I will be happy when I am in a relationship/married." the whole statement implies that for some reason the single girl or guy is incomplete/flawed/damaged in some way and it takes the other party to complete Gods incomplete creation.

Lord I have been so brainwashed. As I was typing, my heart crooned an involuntary aww to my statement but my  brain performed a necessary over ride sharply!

We have been so brainwashed by this statement. Every movie, play, magazine , novel subtly or overtly reinforces this statement. There is no alternative view or opposing view. If there is an opposing view, the voice is drowned out by the more romantic point of view.

Nothing or no one can truly ever make you happy or complete.
I have learned that God is the only constant in life. I am slowly but surely discarding erroneous patterns of thinking. I haven't succeeded totally but I am trying.
I have decided to stop focusing so much inwardly and my happiness but in looking outwardly.

As cliche as it sounds, it does work. I truly believe until you find the specific reason why God created you and operate under that ministry you will never find true joy. Some women believe that they were specifically created to support their husband's that this is their "ministry". Maybe in that sense a husband “completes" them. However that only constitutes about one percent of people?
Feminists dont kill me oh. I believe everyone has a purpose big or small and some women truly thrive in their lives with that pattern if thinking. They aint nothing wrong with that. As long that is Gods plan for you and not your plan for yourself.

However I think happiness can truly be found in helping others. 
Yes cliche, again

You take the focus from you and you begin to realize you are more than just the incomplete creation of God.
You are worth something. You are something
God has a specific plan  for you.
Your constant joy then comes from being in God  and finding what your “ministry” is or purpose is.

Then you can truly walk through life in passion purpose and happiness.

Yeah I am just going to act like no one noticed that I haven't updated by blog for eons.

Francis Okoros call to arms here did not help my writers guilt

Scouts honor though ! I am back to semi consistently blogging.

Eniola P

Friday, September 18, 2015

The blues

I have been feeling  a little down these past couple of months without any tangible reason for my blues.
I am appalled that it has taken me this long to actually realize depression is an illness. The same way cancer or malaria or the flu is an illness., I always categorized depression as something that happened to certain people or was by choice.

Of course until it happened to me. Sure I have dealt with dark emotions before, a lot of which I pulled from to write Still.

However I had never truly grasped and accepted depression as an illness. See in our society both here and in Nigeria, mental illness is scoffed at, swept under the rug. There is visceral response of sympathy and empathy for any illness....that is apart from mental illness.

I am guilty of this.

I remember when one of my guy friends told me a girl we both knew was seeing a therapist. "Well I ain't surprised. She cra cra." I said inwardly.

Judgemental much?

I have heard pastors say that if you are truly living a Christian life that you won't be depressed nor will you  need a therapist/counsellor / life coach. Well, I agree with that in some foundational level.

My understanding of Gods word has led me to believe that being in the continual presence of God is the only source of true Joy. The joy of The Lord is truly your strength. Before I go into full past pastoress Eniola mode let me go back to my original point.

Saying going to a therapist due to depression is a sign of weakness is like saying going to an oncologist for chemo for cancer is a sign of weakness.

It's the same thing.

We have all ignored the true costs of mental illness and the toll it takes on everyone involved if resources /treatment are not available.

mental illness is the window that the devil uses to inhabit a heart then  the next Virginia  tech shooting happens or elementary school shooting happens.

I have realized that depression is one of the hardest illnesses to treat. I am one that believes in science and believes in common sense. "My African brothers and sisters not every ailment is from your enemy in the village."

However I also know that " for the weapons of our warfare are not Carnal but mighty through God for the pulling down of strongholds.

Depression is one the most perfect examples of illness being a spiritual battle. I don't believe taking an SSRI for however long will cure you. Yes you may feel better but it's symptomatic treatment. Like treating the fever or headache or runny nose you get from a virus but not treating the virus itself.

When your girl realized that my emotions were not normal. I took control spritually and kibashed the spirit away.

I will admit I still struggle but I am better than before.

I pray for the grace to treat people who are struggling with mental illness  with the love of God cos I gotta admit it can't be my love. Mental illness is not a joke. I did a rotation in St. Elizabeth the mental hospital/ prison where John Hinckley (the man who shot president Reagan is) and I is knows.

My hope is knowing that by his stripes we are healed .....including mental illness.

Thursday, September 10, 2015

What I am obsessed with!

It seems like Pgy 2 year for me is binge watching shows during free time. My get netfllix for free trial has turned into a monster! Instead of studying for In training Exam aka yearly -Program Director -humiliation -tool -exam I was binge watching on Wentworth British or is it Australian  version of OINTB and Homeland

I have heard about the show but being a self confessed "cheapotle" I is wasn't going to pay any extra money to get Showtime. My very extensive search for a  virus free boot leg website was unsuccessful. It became available and I was hooked. No matter how guilty I felt I couldn't stop! I only stopped to eat, poop and shower.

What I got from the show : what makes Homeland work isn't particularly extraordinary story lines. it isn't even mentally unbalanced bipolar aka cra cra  Carrie Claire Danes character. Okay on second thought maybe a little of it is her.  Its the abilty of the show to keep you on your toes. Its absolutely riveting. I swear I was having palpitations. I remember watching the first episode from season 3 when I didn't know much about the back story * spolier alert* LOOK AWAY IF YOU INTEND TO WATCH when that station chief was killed.  I was glued to the television screaming. My plan was to watch an episode a day but after I watched the episode on the embassy attack, I couldn't with the suspense!  I just had to find out what happened.

I wonder if they are any christian shows/ series that are really interesting. if yall know any please inbox me. I would love to binge watch those to.

I am starting  a christian mentorship scholarship organization for college age girls . I should probably post about that but I am just going to procrastinate and do it at another time. Do shoot me an email if you are in the DMV area and you are interested in being a mentor/mentee

Random thought: I just realized that I don't write about what I don't particularly enjoy. Trust me I have tried to write about residency but no blog post  can truly encapsulate the joys of being a resident

Wentworth Thought : In comparison to OINTB its better.  Especially because the last season of orange was weak. Its darker, unpredictable and is punctuated with laughs here or there. Let me not begin to talk about the pure evil that was Joan 'The Freak' Ferguson.  * Sprays holy water* 

They should pay me to watch and review these shows. anybody hiring?