God is not a simulation expert.

Well, if praying meant asking God repeatedly in my head why this happened to my parents then yes, I had been praying.

Nikky Abe

Still 2

In the process of writing Still 2 and in the process of living life in general, I could never answer certain questions.

The above is a quote from one of my characters aka  Nikky the feisty one( if you have read still 1)  of the second part of the bestselling four book series.

Yes, it’s a shameless plug for book 2 *Insert Nollywood Dramatic Voice * Coming in December

I aint ashamed.

But I digress.

See, I didn’t understand why bad things happened to good people.

 Why women get raped, why innocent bystanders get murdered and the people that are the kindest patients have the worst disease processes. A sure way to know if a patient will die is how kind there are. If the patient is  nice there’s a high likelihood of death while the more cantankerous ones must be drinking the “everlasting life” cool aid. There’s a woman that was particularly kind whose death hits me till this day.

John 16 vs 33, KJV say These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.

The truth is I could not be of good cheer.

My mind would be filled with questions of why a good and kind God would allow children he claimed to love so much to go through devasting events in life. And I wasn’t satisfied with Christianese answers.

There is always a tacit ideology among Christians that those questions should not be asked? That those questions are for unbelievers, agnostics and atheists. However, I believe it is a question that comes from the base of human instinct. It comes from a hurting heart, full of questions trying to make sense of life.

See in my quest, I also found the word that we have a high priest that is empathetic to our suffering.

I asked myself why did God go through the drama of having Jesus born, having him grow up from a toddler to a teenager and then an adult then have him suffer and die.

The answer is empathy.

There is an empathy that can only come through experience.

When he sits on the right hand of God he really empathizes with our struggles because he lived the full human experience.

See the point of life and our relationship with God is not to make heaven, if it were we would have been taken to heaven immediately we gave our lives to Christ.

Why should he risk losing us while we continue living in a worldy system that is under Satan’s control?

Let me speak a little christianese and say he did it so we could be little “gods” on earth. See God believes in us more than we believe in ourselves, He believes that the devastation will not kill us like the enemy intends but it will only make us stronger. We can get up and like nemo in “Finding Nemo, and we just keep swimming.

See when you go though some experiences you can look at another hurting soul and really mean it when you say “I have been there.”

Unfortunately, God cannot simulate losing a loved one or debilitating illness or grave injustice. You must go through it to become a “high priest” for that situation.

Then you can tell someone else in that situation confidently, “You will be fine. If I made it through, then so can you. “

When we yield to God in that painful situation, he uses it to empower us to help others.

However, sometimes the pain fogs our views and we play into the hand of the enemy. We become brittle and bitter.

I certainly don’t feel all situations are that simple and there are complex nuances in every painful experience we go through.

And the maddening thing is sometimes it will not make sense. Refer to Proverbs 3 vs 5

But I have learnt and continually learn to trust God and believe that He will make it all beautiful in his time.

I clear my head of stinking thinking mindsets that attributes these situations to God. God doesn’t want me to suffer but He allows the suffering for his purpose.

In trust, I have learnt that God may not be  simulation expert.  That while I hoped he would simulate certain experiences in my life, I have gotten to the point that I can say like the psalmists, I was glad I was afflicted that I may learn your statutes

Forward/Young Girl Dreaming

I am just going to act like I haven’t blogged in a whole year.

A lot has happened in my absence from this space.

2017 is a year I will always remember but also one I would like to forget and move one from.

A lot of happy happenings sprinkled with small dose of pain.

But it was hopeful, exciting breathless.

I almost sound like I miss it.

I do.

I miss the hope I felt, the breath of new promise.

But I am learning to look forward and not limit God.

See if I keep my eyes on the past and how fun it was or what could have been, then I wont move forward. If I can’t move forward then I can’t experience the new plans God has in store for me.  It was a strange year.

One I both loved and hated, but I loved it more.

This year almost feels like one long continuation of 2017.

But  life should be lived in one direction: forward!

Young Girl Dreaming

My foundation is having its first event, a seminar about getting into medical school. I have always been very self -directed and goal oriented. I knew I wanted to be a doctor from a very young age and pursued it with a single-mindedness for a long arduous time. One day on a literal uphill walk to a friend’s house, during my wilderness years,  I remember thinking  one shouldn’t have to struggle so hard for a dream.

Maybe I was being a little bratty a la’ Israelite in the wilderness.  

But I was tired.

I promised myself that if I ever had a chance, I would make the journey easier for the  young women coming behind me. I would tell them my truth. I would do everything possible to shatter the lies of the enemy, lies a young girl tends to believe during the  the dark days.

The spark was there before that day but the fire was ignited that night.

So I had this vision to mentor your girls not necessarily personally but to sow “God” seeds in their lives using education as a medium and a relationship with God as framework.

I realize I have a LOT to learn and have a long way to go.  However, I felt this year was the time to MOVE.

I think it’s  also my desire to give my life meaning.

Life has to be more than life and work and a tupsy tursy love life. J

No I rebuke that! No negative confession. I speak life ! My love life is languid and peaceful.

I hope to help the young women that come to the seminar because I believe we all have something to offer the world.

I think the biggest tragedy is an unshared testimony. You never realize who you may be helping or more importantly encouraging

Sometimes its difficult to relate to David or Elijah or Samuel but it’s easy to relate to  Joanna down the street or Funke a class mate .

Coming from a Christian-ese African traditional culture shrouded in sometimes unnecessary secrecy, my personal pet peeve is when someone  gives a testimony comprising of

1. 30 minutes of vigorous praise ad worship
2. 30 minutes of repeated repeatedly –God is great. God is good. God is God. Or a variation of the above.
3. Finish testimony 

Hey to each his own but if you give a testimony, GIVE IT

Don’t do something that is an a obligatory tick of the box. Give God a balls to the wall, all hands of deck, crying-with-snort-running-down-your –face testimony.

The bible says in Revelation 12 vs 11

And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death

I do understand some issues are personal that one would rather not share. But sometimes self has to die, our personal reservations have to die and we share knowing that its more about the person you are helping and encouraging. Its more about being open before God and really giving him the honor he is due.  

Anyhoo, let me get off my soap box. Please do pass along the information to anyone you know that is interested in embarking this riveting career of saving lives.

Love and light folks.

Eniola Prentice